It Is Hard To Surrender

by Michelle Welch

“And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose for them. ” (emphasis added by me).   Romans 8:28 (NLT)

Last year our Bible study group did Beth Moore’s Daniel series.  In a section of homework, Beth pointed out that “Trusting someone else’s relationship with God to the degree that you’d receive a vital message through him is challenging.” I wrestled with this for quite a while.  For a control freak like me, that is a difficult concept.  Even though I am surrounded by prayer warrior sisters and friends, I still expect to receive the answer to the question I bring before God. How humbling it was for me to come to the realization that my Abba does things according to His purpose and not mine. It’s not like I don’t know that. It’s not like I haven’t been taught that since I was a young girl. It’s just so easy to forget or gloss over.

I don’t understand why my Abba has changed the path of our life. Sweetheart and I had made some seriously grandiose plans. We had mapped out our future and moved forward with confidence. What we didn’t move forward with was our Abba’s blessing. We didn’t ask Him what He had in mind and what His purpose for us was. I asked my prayer warriors to pray for me and for the changes that have come into our life. The response was overwhelming and the prayers covered my spirit and calmed my heart. Having an adult child with brain damage is something we never even considered. When our son showed up on our doorstep, I didn’t ask my Abba what He had on His mind. I decided it would be a quick fix and I would take care of everything and soon life would get back to normal. Or our normal anyway. I made all the decisions, I decided the path, and I took off running. I didn’t listen to the voices of my prayer sisters and their answers they received on my behalf. I had asked them to go to God on my behalf and yet I selfishly didn’t even consider that one of them would receive the answer for me. After all, I am the mom. Super mom. Super wife. Super Christian. What did I learn from these misguided notions? His purpose is greater than my problems.

Twice this last week I read about a song. In two different places completely unrelated to each other. I brushed it off as some beautiful words written for someone in need.  Isn’t it silly how God puts stuff right in our path over and over again and yet we constantly step over it to browse the rack for something we like better? Then I went to church and guess what the new song was?  Yep. This time I couldn’t ignore it and I finally found the answer my Abba had been shouting at me. (He’s been quite loud lately in my life lessons)

All to Jesus I surrender
All to Him I freely give
I will ever love and trust Him
In His presence daily live

I surrender all
I surrender all
All to Jesus I surrender
I surrender all

All to Jesus I surrender
Make me, Savior, wholly Thine
Let me feel Your Holy Spirit
Truly know that Thou art mine

All to Jesus I surrender
Lord I give myself to Thee
Fill me with Thy love and power
Let Thy blessings fall on me

© 1999 Don Wigton

So sisters, I am forever in  your debt. You pray for me and with me and you give me such strength. Your prayers surround me and teach me. I am blessed because He chooses to answer my prayers through such beautiful women. I pray that I may be equally as valiant on your behalf. I know He hasn’t quit answering my prayers directly. He is just working to teach me to be more understanding of the need to surrender all to Him.

My Abba has chosen to change my life yet again. I have learned a very distinct lesson this time. God didn’t promise me a good life but He promised that good things would come from His purpose for me.  He promised that all my struggles and joys and heartaches and breakthroughs would be for my good. And I am good with that.

Copyright © 2012, Michelle Welch, all rights reserved, Breath of Life Women’s Ministries. Bible scripture taken from NLT.

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